|NORTH POLE HOMEOWNERS ASSOCIATION|
c/o Mr. Grinch, Covenant Compliance Department
December 1, 2019
Mr. Santa Clause
Dear Mr. Claus,
No one likes to receive a letter critical of his or her property, but I am instructed by your Board of Directors and and bound by our management agreement to note covenant violations. We don't make policy, we only follow the instructions and guidelines set forth by your Board of Directors and your governing documents.
Covenant Violation Description
Your sleigh is a recreational vehicle, which is prohibited by the covenants. It must be removed within 10 days.
Red and Green Colors on your house clash with the common scheme of the neighborhood. You have 14 days to choose approved colors from our color book and submit an ARC application for painting.
You are feeding wild animals which are diseased, especially the one with the shiny red nose. Some would even say it glows. You must discontinue this practice immediately, or we will be forced to call animal control. We are concerned that the glowing nose may be the result of radioactive waste dumped in your yard, and demand access for a city health inspector.
You are storing toys and games in a large canvas sack in your yard. Be advised that all outdoor storage must be approved by the Architectural Review Committee, and must be of the same style and finish as your house.
It appears that you are operating a day care center, in violation of the covenants. Through the fence we hear voices laughing, teasing someone named Rudolph, playing games, and shouting out with glee. You have five business days to cease operations.
The amount of mail you are receiving exceeds what will fit in your ARC approved mailbox, so you have ten days to make arrangments with the Postal Service for alternate delivery at a post office box or a business address.
You have made unauthorized modifications to your home which allow you to enter and exit through the chimney. Within ten days you must submit an ARC application for your new entry, including evidence that it meets all state and local codes. If disapproved you will be required to restore the chimney to its prior condition.
The covenants limit the number of unrelated persons who can inhabit one dwelling. While your name is Claus, you have a number of persons living with you who indentify themselves as "Elves." Within ten days you must show proof of that you are related to or the legal guardian of the "Elves" or they will be required to find other lodging.
You have been observed making a list and checking it twice, finding out who is naughty or nice. Be advised you have no authority to do that in our neighborhood. It is the function of the Covenant Compliance Department to determine who is naughty or nice .
Thank you for your cooperation and understanding in complying with this letter. Your compliance will keep The North Pole a premiere neighborhood! It is only with the cooperation of all homeowners that the values will continue to rise. Homes which are not maintained according to the documents cost you and your neighbors decreased equity in yoru homes and higher assessment costs due to higher attorney fees to bring violations into compliance.
North Pole Homeowners Association