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By Victoria
Laney
Copyright
Victoria Laney. All rights
reserved.
NORTH POLE HOMEOWNERS ASSOCIATION
Glacial Management Company
Dear Santa,
You have ignored our list of violation. You are
entitled to a hearing in front of the Judicial Authority of North Pole
HOA Board of Directors.
A hearing concerning your numerous violations Will be
conducted on January 1, 2008, at the south pole office of Glacial
Management, at which you will be found guilty as charged.
You will be subject to fines, liens and foreclosure.
Merry Christmas!
Respectfully,
Board of Directors
North Pole HOA
NORTH
POLE HOMEOWNERS ASSOCIATION
c/o Mr. B.A. Humbug
Glacial Management Company
December 17, 2008
Dear Mr. Claus:
We are instructed by the Board of Directors to inform you of the following violations:
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Covenant
Violation Descriptions:
Your
sleigh is a recreational vehicle, which is prohibited by the covenants.
When we told you to move it from your yard, we clearly did not
intend for you to place it on your roof. Please remove it from your
premises.
You
are feeding wild animals which appear to be diseased. The sickest is the
one with the shiny red nose. Some would even say it glows. You must
discontinue this practice immediately, or we will call animal control.
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Red
and green colors on your house clash with the common scheme of the neighborhood.
You must choose colors from our approved color list and submit an
application for repainting to the Architectural Review Committee.
You are storing toys and games in a
huge canvas sack in your yard. Be advised that all outdoor storage
must be approved by the Architectural Review Committee, and must be
of the same style and finish as your house.
It appears that you are operating a day care center and/or workshop
in violation of the CCRs. Through the fence, we hear the sound
of laughing, playing games and shouting out with glee. There
are numerous small persons on your property and the clatter and
activity is disruptive. |
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The amount of mail you are receiving exceeds what will fit in your architectural
approved mailbox, so you must make arrangements with the postal
service for alternate delivery at a post office box or a business address.
You have made unauthorized modifications to your home which allow you to enter
and exit through the chimney. You must submit an architectural request for
your new entry, including evidence that this modification meets all state
and local codes and is in harmony with other homes.
You have been observed making a list and checking it twice, finding out
who is naughty or nice. You have no authority to do that, and it is
divisive. It is the function of the Compliance Committee to
determine who is naughty or nice.
Thank you for your cooperation and understanding. If you do not comply within
ten days, we will refer these violations to our attorney.
Respectfully,
North Pole Homeowners Association
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