Article Courtesy of The Sun Sentinel
By Fred Grimm
Published March 22, 2019
Life in South Florida
engenders a certain skepticism. Perhaps, it
comes from watching too many young women
park Italian sports cars in handicap spaces,
hang placards of questionable provenance on
rear view mirrors, emerge effortlessly from
low-slung cars that able-bodied me couldn’t
escape without the assistance of a forklift,
then stride purposefully away on six-inch
stilettos. Without a hint of impairment. A
wiggle, maybe, but no damn limp.
We live among unabashed,
unembarrassed scammers. No other region
comes close to their ingenuity in defrauding
Medicare, peddling worthless stocks,
contriving Ponzi schemes, luring callers to
$5-a-minute psychics, attracting hapless
addicts to money-sucking sober homes. After
all, this is a place where, after stealing
swampland from the Seminoles, we hawked it
sight unseen to gullible Yankees.
Just last week, the Florida Attorney General
busted the company behind the ubiquitous
“your computer has a virus” telephone scam.
Most assumed the “Microsoft technician”
posers were calling from Asia. Turns out,
they were in Sunrise.
So, don’t think you’re fooling us with the
service doggie spiel. Don’t bother flashing
that official looking wallet card attesting
Fido’s medical certification as an
“emotional support animal.” Won’t sell. Not
in Fort Lauderdale, a town whose springtime
economy once depended on college kids
flaunting fake IDs.
The manager of Whole Foods may be cowed by
the prospect of litigation, but he knows —
and we know — that the French bulldog
slobbering over the organic arugula ain’t
ever seen the inside of a doctor’s office.
Yet, they’re everywhere, as if South Florida
suffers from an epidemic of acute emotional
neediness. In grocery carts. Roaming the
halls of no-pets-allowed condo buildings. At
the next table in your favorite restaurant.
Growling at you from the window seat on the
flight to New York. (Admittedly, a certain
Miramar-based economy airline accommodates
emotional support animals by providing just
enough leg room for your average Chihuahua.) |
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South Floridians suspect that the cute doggies hauled
into stores, planes and restaurants are household pets passed off as
“certified” emotional support animals, writes Sun Sentinel Columnist
Fred Grimm.
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Occasionally, these
creatures are decked out like crossing
guards, sporting orange or red or — I swear
— hot pink “emotional support animal” vests.
They’re available from Amazon at $21.99
(free delivery for Prime members) and
include cards to offer anyone unfamiliar
with “the laws and questions surrounding
service dogs.”
Except emotional support dogs aren’t service
dogs. Service dogs, according to the
Americans with Disabilities Act, must be
specially trained to perform specific
services for persons with specific
disabilities. And service dogs aren’t pets.
That bejeweled Shih Tzu relieving himself in
Aisle One is no service dog.
But, indeed, he may be “certified,” with a
vest, patch, collar tag and wallet card
purchased online. Service Dogs Central, a
legitimate operation, lists 17 sham sites
that peddle such paraphernalia and “do
nothing to verify the dog's training or the
owner's disability.” Just fill out a form,
pay up to $200 and Fido’s “certified.”
Almost any owner with any mutt qualifies.
One registration site, Service Dogs America,
“recognizes that most every person in
America may have some form of disability.
Most persons rely on their dog to assist
them in many different ways. Ensure your dog
will be allowed to accompany you wherever
you need to go by clearly identifying
him/her as a service dog with a Service Dog
Identification Package provided by Service
Dogs America.”
The industry depends on vaguely written
regulations in the federal Fair Housing Act,
and the Air Carrier Access Act, while hoping
no one notices that owners must provide
documentation from a “licensed mental health
professional” (not the family doc) who
attests that they are currently under
treatment for a recognized mental disorder.
Even that may be hooey. Molly Crossman, a
Yale psychology researcher, published a
report in The Journal of Clinical Psychology
reviewing medical evidence that might
support the notion that animal companions
counter psychological distress. “The
clearest conclusion in the field is that we
cannot yet draw clear conclusions,” she told
Vox last fall. “A lot of people have this
impression that [the evidence] is very well
established and we really know that
[animals] are beneficial. But what is
surprising is that we actually don’t know
that at all.”
Something else people might not know. It’s
illegal under Florida law to misrepresent
your pet as a service animal. Meanwhile, the
legislature is considering a bill this
session that would require owners of
emotional support animals to have “written
documentation prepared by a health care
practitioner which verifies that the
individual has a disability or a
disability-related need, has been under the
practitioner’s care, and that the emotional
support animal is needed.”
Wait outside Fido. The jig is up. |