I’m sorry, I must write this fast because a fire alarm just went off in my building, exhorting me to rush downstairs. The ear-splitting voice keeps reminding me not to take the elevator and I’m still in my underwear.
No, just kidding, this is my false alarm which I hope you’ll forgive me for sounding just to get your attention to such an important topic—condominium sanity. A.I., change sanity to safety.
|
CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION . . . CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION . . . All I want for Christmas is no shots in arms, No dateless proms, fewer false alarms! What I want most for all is more peace on earth, Maybe a smaller girth, a bit more net worth. Keeping my true love near, Happy New Year! |
If as president you dare to levy a
special assessment to pay for balcony restoration, the condo
commandos come after you like you’re Nicolás Maduro. Still,
it’s imperative to keep a watchful eye on any construction
problems, defects or decay that could result in such
calamities as Surfside.
We condo dwellers occasionally must deal with those
necessary nuisances, the alarms, albeit almost always false,
sometimes resulting simply from some absent-minded codger
burning his toast, but they never give you the pirate’s
name. Yet, fire alarms can be torturous ordeals, so how well
they are conducted, and how dutifully residents follow
instructions are critical . . . and can be lifesaving.
A typical fire alarm drives residents and their hurriedly
dressed children from their apartments often in the dark
early morning or night hours. Advised not to take elevators,
they scramble downstairs to presumed safety in a lobby
teeming with other distraught residents, anxious security
personnel and sometimes frustrated firemen pacing in
deafening silence, unable to squelch the maddening siren.
Sometimes, at off hours a certain condo worker must be
summoned to come in to turn off the alarm, which takes more
aggravating minutes, encroaching more deeply into nerves and
patience thresholds.
While this is heroic on the one worker’s part, it’s evidence
of shortcomings on the part of the condo’s leadership. There
needs to be education and training and a plan to follow in
such events instead of total reliance on one person.
Condos need competency to spread out, not be closeted or
entrusted to one or two staff, especially as fire alarms
tend to go off at unseemly hours. Those elected to serve on
the board and especially as president, have duties they’re
expected to perform especially in times of such
nerve-wracking emergencies as fire alarms.
Following such a commotion, leaders need to report to their
constituencies of fellow residents what caused the alarm to
go off, why it continued so long, why was there was such
confusion in how to turn it off and most importantly what is
being done to prevent such disturbing false fire alarms from
happening again!
Next day after a false fire alarm, there needs to be a
thorough report explaining what caused it and what steps
have been taken to prevent such an event. Disseminating
findings quickly must be emphasized in leadership protocols.
The report from the leadership should include a warning that
while the condo board is doing its utmost to prevent false
alarms in the future, one of the worst things that can
happen would be if residents concluded the next fire alarm
is probably false, then go back to sleep. That could be a
fatal decision.